Good Enough! 06-03-2015

Originally Posted June 3, 2015


I found my mojo! It was here, on DietBet** all along.

After my hiatus of motivation and good-choice-making, I am back. Blogging and the responses I received from the kind folks here are totally responsible. I will be working to blog here 2X a week, at minimum, from here on. I can see a marked difference in my own actions and progress when I blog. Interesting.

In my Mojo Shuffle, I have done a few things.

  • One: Pirwaki brought up looking over her Miles Per Month (and making goals around that). I checked out my own MPM, and found that I’m averaging about 100 miles a month. That’s kinda pitiful. 3ish miles a day isn’t even 10K steps a day, and to be honest, if I do not go to the gym, I’m lucky to break 3K steps, so we’re talking a pitiful amount of walking some days and a decent amount others. As such. I am committing to 150 miles in a calendar month. Luckily Monday was the 1st of the month AND my reset day AND my first day back to the gym. So that worked out nicely.
  • Two: I have hit a bit of a gym slump. I have become too routine in my cardio, and I can tell that I need to change some things up and challenge myself more. I like the elliptical. It’s my favesies. I’m one of the gym girls who spends a million years on the elliptical that you read about in fitness magazines making fun of cardio-queens. I know that weight-loss is not done through exercise alone, and I know that cardio is not the only thing of value, and I know that keeping the same routine is counterproductive. But I also know that whatever keeps me going to the gym and whatever keeps me moving is better than forcing myself to do stuff I can’t stand and eventually quitting. That said. I do intervals on the elliptical and just make up my own thing. I adjust the incline and resistance with the music I’m listening to, so I do some really fast with low resistance, slower with harder resistance, you know. And that’s fine. But I started to realize that I can get through an hour without a problem. Like, I’m sweaty and my brain wants me to stop and all that, but I’m not feeling any kind of real fatigue. So yesterday I decided to enter all my info on the machine and do an “Interval training mode” setting on the machine. And you know what? IT KICKED MY BUTT. I couldn’t make it the full hour. I did 45 minutes then shut it off and walked my last 15 minutes. And my muscle groups were shaking. And I woke up sore—like the real kind of sore—in a way I haven’t been in a while. All that fatigue and soreness and WORK just got me all excited again. I’m feeling pumped to keep changing things up and see how hard I can push myself. I really needed that.
  • Three: Music. I use Spotify, which is the best thing ever to happen to music, in my opinion. There are free versions, you should look into it if you are not afraid to stream music at the gym. I saved a bunch of “workout” playlists by different people (fitness magazines, namely) and I have had SO MUCH FUN finding new music and being reminded of music I’d forgotten about. It was a trash-music-sweatin good time. Music is SUCH a stimulator for me. I work so much harder and so much longer if I’m feeling the music. I’m going to make an effort to remember to change it up more, and keep my playlists fresh if I start to feel bored.
  • Four: I’m making a poster. YES I AM. Grade-school style. I’m hanging I ton the back of my bedroom door and everything. I think I’ll post a picture when I’m finished. I made a thermometer-style graph so I can mark off my weight loss. I have printed out some inspiring photos and quotes. There may or may not be glitter involved. I’m planning a tear-away goal sheet—the NSV’s I’d like to accomplish. I think I’ll really like PHYSICALLY removing them from my board. I’m also trying to decide how to arrange some of my goals on there so that I can log/view them aesthetically. It’s a work in progress. Elementary-chic.
  • Five: (working on) Taking the time to document and appreciate my NSV’s . AND my SV’s. We all know the non-scale victories are great reminders and motivators and all of that. And I love my NSV’s. But I have not been giving them the recognition they deserve. I have not been taking the time to thoughtfully NOTICE them. How am I taking them for granted already?? That’s STUPID! In order for me to be proud of me, I have to give myself credit. So I am working on being observant of my progress and my accomplishments.

For example:

My workout clothes are loose. They’re ~ 3 months old. They’re spandex. They’re loose. LOOSE SPANDEX. Let that sink in.

I am drinking 3 liters of water a day. Fairly regularly.  I’m working up to a gazillion, but right now I’m happy with three.

I can do toe touches. Standing and sitting, straddle and pike. Knees straight. I couldn’t three months ago.

I have lost 35 pounds since March 19th.

I am starting to feel pretty in my own skin again. This is a really big one. I forgot how good it feels to appreciate what you see in the mirror.

I can walk up 3 flights of stairs. I am winded, tired, and slow—but I can do it. And I DO do it.

I have lost my motivation, lost my desire to work hard and eat right, AND FOUND IT AGAIN. I didn’t give up. I get a little teary eyed when I say this out loud. I suppose it’s one of those things that people like me have to overcome—I have a hard time finding merit in my actions, in my efforts, in my accomplishments. When someone tells me good job, like for realsies, in person, genuinely—AND I believe their congrats—I want to break down. I’m grateful for the recognition and I LIKE to hear it—but I also sort of don’t believe it. It’s not that I don’t believe the person thinks whatever complimentary thing they say, but just that I am a fraud because they think I have done something really good and deserving of praise but they don’t know that I secretly could have done better and worked harder and generally speaking I have not, REALLY, done a good job. That’s some save-it-for-the-therapist shizz and all, but I’m sure I’m not alone in this abusive thinking. And when I gave myself some credit for pulling up my socks and sticking with my goal to lose weight, I believed it. I believe it. And that’s probably my biggest accomplishment to date.

This whole business is SO HARD. Let’s all give ourselves some credit for that. Cause man. This is HARD.

**If you have come across this blog by some series of events not involving me pointing to it, allow the following disclaimer: These blogs all began on DietBet, and were posted within the site. As such, there are several references to DietBet. I have enjoyed using it as a tool, and it’s working for me. You don’t have to use it. You do you.


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